We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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