i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
