she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
