The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
