I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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