somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
