I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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