if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize