I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
