I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
is that a dick in a sweater?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize