Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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