he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
