Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
