just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
