We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
