The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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