i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
