I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
there was a trapeze. enough said
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize