A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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