So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
