can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize