yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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