Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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