So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
