I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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