Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
