his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
