I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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