he puts the penis in happiness.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
