so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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