Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
