she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Drunk walkin through police station. America
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
