im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
