This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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