you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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