when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize