You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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