Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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