We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
