So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
