I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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