Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize