it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
