Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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