yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
did you just send me my own nude
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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