i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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