i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
