Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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