My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
