I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
