Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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