I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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