he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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