I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
