You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Couch. On fire.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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