think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
