Little spoons don't ask big questions
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
