I need help removing her.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
did i just pee glitter
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
