Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
