I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
