I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
