Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
