You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
