the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
